Peter Viney's Blog

My pet irritations at the wheel

This mainly goes back to my dad. He went straight from school to work in a motor parts wholesaler and went to night school to learn car mechanics. In World War Two this expertise was put to use as a driving instructor, motor-cycle dispatch rider, then driving the BBC Radio Unit.  As he always said, his war ended in mid-1946. After the Potsdam signing (he was there with the radio unit), he had to stay in, and taught motor vehicle maintenance in the army in Germany. He was very proud that Field Marshall Montgomery watched him explaining the internal combustion engine to a class, and told him that was the first time he had ever understood how it worked.

After the war, he insisted on becoming a sales representative for his old employer rather than going back into the warehouse. That meant he drove around and visited garages and car and bike dealers who swapped fresh Poole Harbour fish, or honey from their own hives, or vegetables with him for tomatoes and beans from our garden. Cycle dealers were especially good at those deals.

He later moved to John Bull Tyres, who then were taken over by Dunlop.  We were pleased about the move to Dunlop. John Bull made car tyres, bicycle tyres, car fan belts, bicycle puncture repair kits and printing kits. However, Dunlop also made football boots, footballs and tennis racquets and we got them.

His region was Hampshire, Dorset, The Isle of Wight and The Channel Islands. In the last three years of his life (he died in 1966) he returned to the old motor wholesaler as Sales Manager. He had taught motor mechanics part-time. As a result, whenever his car was serviced, he would stand over them and watch.

He taught me to drive on a deserted New Forest airfield when I was fourteen. I had a Vespa scooter which he made me take totally apart and reassemble. I looked at my oily, scratched and bleeding hands, and he said, ‘The lesson is, get a job where you don’t have to do this.’ He was local chairman of the Institute of the Motor Industry. 

Parking Lights

There are five kinds of car light: parking lights, dipped headlights, full beam headlights, fog lights and later, daytime running lights.

So this is where  my dad comes in. He used to do talks for the Institute of The Motor Industry with slides. I was along as a teenager to click the switch. In the early 60s there were TV road safety adverts on driving in fog. He had slides of the pictures. These showed a car approaching in pea souper fog, and the message was that the bulk of the car was visible before the parking lights were visible. The message was to use dipped headlights and/ or fog lights in fog. Later, it became a rule that you use dipped headlights in rain.

Daytime running lights came later. In the early 80s, only Swedish cars, Volvos and SAABs had them. I remember a Terry Wogan breakfast radio programme at the time. Terry said, ‘If you’re listening to this show in the car … please switch on your lights now.’ Then he played the next record, before announcing, ‘The results are in. 98% of the people listening to this programme are driving Volvos.’ They have been compulsory on new models since 2011.

Mostly, you don’t have to think much, because in the last decade and a half cars often have an AUTO setting which switches on dipped headlights with the windscreen wipers.

“According to the Highway Code, you must use headlights when visibility is ‘seriously reduced’ – either through light conditions, rain or fog – and generally when you can’t see for more than 100 metres (328 feet). Failure to illuminate properly can lead to a £1,000 fine if spotted by the police.”

That is not daytime running lights. It is headlights.

I’ve had a few motorway journeys in torrential rain recently. Last week, on the dual carriageway between Ringwood and Bournemouth in heavy traffic, I saw at least five cars and vans running without lights at all in the eight mile stretch.  On my 14 year old car, I can disable AUTO setting. On Karen’s four year old car, you can too. People do. Do they imagine it’s saving petrol or battery power? (Well, it might on electric vehicles).

The thing is, as an offence, it seems driving without lights in rain or fog is totally ignored by the police. I’ve seen police cars in line with cars with no lights in heavy rain. I can see that stopping them might be dangerous, and issuing a ticket would mean getting sodden wet.

The point is that if you have twenty vehicles with lights on, and the grey car right in the middle has no lights on, it’s very easy not to see it.

Parking lights are for PARKING on roads at night. In German made cars they’re switchable to one side too, because they only need to illuminate the road side, not the pavement side.

Lights and ‘crossing to park’

With modern powerful blue / white lights this is an irritation. In some countries you should only park in the direction of moving traffic, not on the side facing oncoming traffic. People do cross to park facing oncoming traffic, and sit making phone calls (or waiting to pick up kids) and leave their dipped headlights on. Dipped headlights “dip” so that the light angles into the kerb. If you park on the wrong side, facing oncoming traffic, then they angle out to the middle of the road, blinding people. It’s thoughtless. If I have to cross to park, I switch over to parking lights / daytime running lights or off.

Pulsating ultra-bright lights on bicycles are distracting at night- it’s the pulsating. Are they safe for migraine sufferers coming the other way? When they’re on the helmet they’re positively dangerous as they are directly in oncoming driver’s eye line. Blinding people coming towards you in a larger and heavier vehicle is not a good idea.

Seat belts

When my dad moved to the motor wholesalers in the early 60s, a major promotion was seat belts. Then new, then often lap only rather than lap or diagonal, often fixed rather than tightening on impact. He used to arrange promotional talks. I well recall assisting with one. It must have been 1964 or 1965. The five star Royal Bath Hotel in Bournemouth. The seat belt manufacturer who should be nameless (OK, it was Britax) had invited police from three forces to watch safety films on seat belts in the hotel. There was a free bar with beer and spirits … that’s how safety conscious they were in those days. I was 16 or 17 and allowed to partake. I can still see two senior police officers helping a stumbling very senior police officer to his Jaguar. The man was pissed paralytic, unable to speak, and they put his key in the ignition and started the car for him. He drove off into the night.

Then much later seat belt safety adverts got a really bad name after Jimmy The Paedo Savile fronted the “Clunk Click Every Trip” campaign.

Thinking back to the films, I am reminded that US cars had to have much stronger air bags than UK models, because so many drivers refused to wear seat belts. I suppose refusing to wear seat belts is like the Anti-Vac brigade, nature’s way of improving the future gene pool.

A couple of points. My previous cars had height adjustable seat belts on the pillars. Our current pair of cars don’t. I think they’re important as many women point out, if they’re not height adjustable they don’t go with having breasts. They’re also in a bad position on the neck for shorter people.

The other is passengers (and I do mean Karen). Nothing annoys me more than the passenger reaching forward to get something from a bag on the floor or the glove compartment just as I approach a busy roundabout, or a motorway slip road. It is a frequent cause of argument, because I say ‘Sit back in your seat until I’m past this’ because they’re both points where I may have to brake sharply, and if you’re leaning forward, the belt won’t work and you will smack your head on the dashboard. I remember the films.

A risky addendum on that is picking up kids from school. I used to see certain ethnic groups (OK, the mothers were in headscarves) who allowed small kids to stand up in the back seat while driving. There were police around, and it is a very tricky area, and one I never saw a police officer prepared to confront either. There were also a couple of Chinese grandparents I saw regularly outside the school, and the toddler was always unbelted on grandma’s lap in the front seat. That’s another event that happened with police officers two yards away who never said a thing.

I really am not advocating tickets and fines from officious police either. A word with ‘A driving ticket next time,’ should be enough.

Heavy brakers

People are taught to use only their brakes to stop. That’s been true for years. My sons do it. My dad taught me to use gears to slow down. It’s annoying when people race up a side road and slam their brakes on heavily at the main road. I see them in peripheral vision and wonder if they really are going to stop. I also remember my dad’s driving advice:

“The words St Peter hears most often at the Pearly Gates are “But it was my right of way!”

His other advice was, ‘Never assume other drivers are sober, sane or have good vision.’

This came up on a driver awareness course. (Yes, I was caught by a camera at 44 mph in a 40 mph hour limit on a lit clear and completely empty dual carriageway at 1.30 a.m.) The instructor said it was wrong to use gears to slow down. These are situations where one is reluctant to argue, considering it best to sit quietly and get your attendance stamp. However, I said, ‘What about driving on ice?’ He said, ‘Modern ABS (anti-lock brake system) brakes are fine on ice.’ Yes, I know, they can switch on and off to prevent wheel lock, but first not every car is fitted with them, and second last time we had ice there were a dozen minor crashes in a day on the hill near our house. I was taught to use the gears to slow down on ice. I taught my kids the same. I don’t care what the Highway Code says.

I see people racing past to overtake when I can see a dozen evenly spaced cars ahead, so that the over-taker will then have to slow for. I look at the red glare of their brake lights. My dad used to watch cars braking sharply and frequently and say ‘There’ll always be a living selling tyres when there are that many idiots around.’

A recent find is that a major cause of particulates in urban areas is tyre scrub rather than (or as well as) diesel fumes. The second part of the research was that electric and hybrid vehicles, transporting heavy batteries create more tyre scrub particulates than conventional cars.

I try not to drive on my brakes, in spite of driving an automatic SUV. Last time I changed tyres, I had done 38,000 miles on them. The main dealer said, ‘Most people get 20,000 to 25,000 on your model. But total arseholes get 15,000.’

Tyre tread

The legal limit is 1.6 mm. When this was first mooted, my dad said it was madness. After 4.5 mm, stopping distance increases markedly. Both our car manufacturers recommend changing tyres at 3 mm. They’re absolutely right.  1.6 mm is ‘nearly bald.’

Watch some videos of stopping distance in heavy rain at ‘new’, 4.5 mm, 3 mm and then 1.6 mm. It’s a salutary lesson.

Tailgaters

Tailgaters with red brake lights constantly flashing are another irritation. A few years ago a TV programme showed a police control centre watching TV screens from a major motorway. They could also see speeds, and they could radio in a patrol car ahead to chase and stop drivers. Most cars were, as in real life, doing between 75 mph and 85 mph (in a 70 mph limit). The police controller admitted they can’t stop everyone, and made no attempt to, but the ones they pulled in for speeding were the tailgaters.

On which, on the M27 a few years ago we were passed by three supercars … I mean Lamborghini / Ferrari. The three were less than a car length apart. I was in the central lane, and I’d guess I was doing 70 mph (Alright, twist my arm, it may have been 80 mph). At the speed they passed they were certainly well above 120 mph. They had Arabic number plates. Two were piled up just before the M27 ends, a third was upside down,.

Speed

Lower speeds do save fuel, but as a realist, I wouldn’t object to raising motorway speeds to the discussed 80 mph.

But here’s the thing about speed. If you have a small hatchback, with a top speed of 90 mph, and you are doing 80 mph, I’d say you were driving dangerously. My SUV has a top speed of 136 mph on paper. No, I’ve never tested it. So at 70-80 mph, in a dangerous situation, I have two choices: I can brake or I can accelerate around it. At that speed, if I put my foot down, it will leap forward. I noted this going to the airport in Vienna recently where the Prius taxi was doing over 100 mph AND driving a car length from the vehicle in front. I was terrified, because he was driving flat out. Whatever the vehicle, you should never drive flat out or near its top speed. You should always have the possibility of accelerating instead of braking.

Lane switching

Most British motorways are three lane, with increasing numbers of four lane Smart Motorways. Let’s call the three lanes slow (inside), middle and overtaking (outside). The Highway Code says you always drive in the lane furthest to the left (in the UK for non-British readers!) and never hog other lanes. OK, this is starting to change. On 4 to 5 lane roads the overhead gantries will sometimes display STAY IN LANE. This can apply in the USA too. Some road research indicates that it might be usefully extended.

In practice, driving on a busy motorway in rush hours, that’s what’s happening. Vans and trucks with speed limiters are inside on the left at about 60 mph, a line of evenly separated cars and vans at just above 70 mph are in the middle, overtaking on the outside. 

I will be the first to agree that none of us are traffic police officers, and it is not our business what speed others choose to do. Some people get incensed about cars ‘hogging the middle lane’ and on open nearly empty roads that’s fair. There is always someone tootling along in the middle or even the overtaking lane at exactly 70 mph in the belief that no one should be going faster than them. They’re a pain. They’re ‘policing’ other traffic.

In the rush hour, you need to learn to live with the middle lane being just about full. Yet on any 100 mile run, I will see two or three people who are angered by this … rarely more than two or three though. They will overtake, and instantly go into the left lane right behind a truck. Then immediately come back out again to pass it, then immediately back in. This may be across all three lanes, so their entire progress is a zig-zag, and stressful for them and for the people they’re constantly cutting in right in front of. They’re also causing extra tyre wear, which would have pleased my dad.

It’s especially annoying where motorways merge or diverge. You have four lanes and (say) the two left lanes go to London on the M3, the two right lanes go to Portsmouth on the M27. So you know this a good mile before and lane accordingly. The third from the left will become the inside lane when the motorway splits. But Mr Zig Zagger still feels it irritating that cars are not sticking to the extreme left.

Slow down after overtaking

This is an odd one. I’ll find myself on the motorway at a constant speed. Let’s imagine it’s exactly 70 mph. A car or van will overtake, often quite slowly and painfully. No problem. Then they manage to pass, pull back in to my lane … and immediately slow down by 10 mph. Then I have to slow to maintain distance. Why bother to pass in the first place?

Gap Fillers

On the Driver Awareness I was the only one who got the correct distance while watching a video at various speeds. As someone said on the day, if you maintain the correct distance, there will always be an idiot who will overtake you, or worse undertake you (passing on the inside) and fill the correct gap you’ve left between you and the vehicle on front.

Speed cameras

What I don’t like about speed cameras. When I started driving I was told that a police car had to follow you for quarter of a mile to establish speeding. It was held sensibly that ‘exceeding the speed limit’ had to mean averaged over a reasonable distance. So if I’m overtaking a truck which is throwing up filth on the motorway and it’s doing the requisite 62 mph, I can overtake at exactly 70 mph, leaving me picking up dirt for quite a long time, or I can accelerate as I pass, get by as quickly as possible, then drop back to 70 mph. That seems reasonable and in line with the spirit of the law.

I, like many others, once got a speeding ticket for this short sharp kick on the accelerator. The dual carriageway (A338) into Bournemouth has a flyover and a 50 mph limit. As you cross the flyover, a busy slip road comes in from the left. Any courteous or sensible driver will switch to the outer right lane to allow traffic to enter. Because at that time the 50 mph limit had only just started a couple of hundred yards earlier, you had to be aware that traffic coming up behind in the right lane might be going faster. So you’d move out and accelerate slightly to join that line. The speed camera was right at the point, and I was caught at 56 mph. So were two of my kids and several people I know. That’s revenue gathering NOT road safety. 

Another is the rule that you must be at the speed limit at the point where you pass a sign. Holes Bay Road in Poole was said to be the most profitable speed camera in the UK. It was set on the traffic light, and a hundred yards earlier the speed limit dropped from 50 mph to 30 mph. People didn’t slow fast enough hoping to catch the green traffic light. Click!

Another was the A316 coming out of London towards the M3. At night on a clear, well-lit three lane road, you were restricted to 50 mph for a long way and at night it seemed unreasonably slow. Then the speed limit ended (or rather the National Speed Limit of 70 mph took over) and frustrated drivers put their feet down only to be hit by a speed camera a few hundred yards later. Again, revenue gathering, not road safety.

At my Dorset Police Driver Awareness Course, the instructor laughed and said, ‘I don’t suppose any of you agree with speed cameras.’ I put my hand up, ‘Yes, I do. I often drive through villages in rural Sussex at 4 pm in the afternoon, and I often see police with hand-held cameras right outside schools. That’s really good use of speed cameras.’ Not that I’ve ever seen Dorset Police do it.

I’d be in favour of police with hand-held speed guns on rat-runs, urban roads used as rush hour cut throughs (like my road). I’d rather they got just two people doing 50 mph in a 30 mph zone than getting forty people doing 34 mph on a wide straight road. The latter is revenue gathering. The former is road safety.

I’ll also add that when a brightly coloured speed camera van is in a lay-by on a straight road, if you don’t see it, then you are driving without ‘due care and attention.’ Parking round bends is sneaky though. Thank you to the three drivers who flashed their lights at me half a mile before one the other day.

Dumb and Intelligent traffic lights

Near my home in Poole we have many ‘intelligent’ traffic lights that respond to traffic flow. This is because Plessey, who invented them is local. So late at night on an empty road I approach a red light and it instantly turns green as I get near. Two sets near me really work superbly to keep traffic flowing.A downside is right filters, which are only activated when a car crosses the traffic lights and takes up position in the centre of the road. Strangers don’t know this.

That’s why it really bugs me in other towns like London with ‘dumb’ traffic lights, when you approach a red light and nothing is coming from any other direction, but it doesn’t change so you sit there for two minutes … Bath and Bristol are other culprits. I believe in London, and black cab drivers agree, that it is deliberate traffic discouragement after three anti-car mayors in a row.

Road works: ‘Replacing safety barriers’

This one has plagued our travel this year. Miles of it on the M3 near Winchester. Christchurch bypass. Everywhere. It has a whiff of peers flogging dodgy PPE to the government for millions to me. The old metal barriers seemed OK. Maybe the upgraded concrete ones will stop a tank or an articulated car transporter with eight Range Rovers on board. To most of us, nothing is improved in traffic flow. we’d prefer the money spent on (say) filling in potholes in urban areas, or an extra lane instead of new barriers, or a South Coast motorway, extending the M27 from Portsmouth to Dover, thus instantly relieving the M25.

Have you noticed that road works now need signs explaining their purpose? One that mildly irritates me is ‘Replacing worn out road’ which mans ‘Don’t complain about sitting in a traffic jam. It’s your fault. You wore out the road.’

If these ‘necessary changes’ to safety barriers were just another few million quid for ex-Bullingdon Club members on the take, it would be bad enough. However, these roadworks cause real hardship to towns effectively cut off from a percentage of their customers for months on end.

Pointless signs

There are now programmable lighted signs on many major roads. I think a traffic control centre can type any text in. We always had a rule in the UK that you couldn’t advertise along motorways as it distracted drivers. So we get lighted signs. They should be blank unless there is an incident or a warning. They should be current.

What’s wrong with this picture? It was taken by Karen from the passenger seat on Saturday 15th October 2022 at the Chiswick roundabout junction. The event on Monday 19 September was the Queen’s funeral (and in the other direction, going in, not going out). So it was virtually a month out of date, but Transport for London still had it powered up. Advertising is banned on UK motorways because it distracts drivers. Yet these lighted signs are used for out of date messages, and inane messages. A warning sign should only be used for warning or it becomes ineffective.

A day later, driving into Bournemouth.  Four lighted signs one after the other with:

THINK! NORMAL SPEED MEETS EVERY NEED

followed by

THINK! BE PATIENT WITH OTHER ROAD USERS

These banal exhortations are pointless and distracting,

The same goes for those signs now popular in long roadworks. DRIVE SAFELY MY DADDY WORKS HERE, except that after complaints they had to be changed to alternate with DRIVE SAFELY MY MUMMY WORKS HERE, which seemed unlikely.

One morning we set off for Legoland in a convoy of three cars. I had Sat Nav. My son-in-law had Sat Nav. My son didn’t. It was early morning. A sign said ‘M3 Closed at Junction X.’ My sat nav confirmed it. I turned off the motorway and went the old slow route through towns. So did my son-in-law. We arrived at Legoland to find my son, the one without SatNav, had been waiting 40 minutes. He’d thought ‘wait and see’ about the M3 Closed sign. It wasn’t closed. It had been until 6 a.m. but the sign was still lit at 8.30 a.m.

All in black

For the sake of my blood pressure, I’m not going into the manifold and grievous sins of lycra clad hyped-up on endomorphines males on racing bikes, legion though they are.

This is pedestrians. At night I see joggers all in black, jogging in the road, not on the pavement around us (in Poole pavements have tree roots under the tarmac to trip you, so joggers prefer the road). I see people in black overcoats walking black dogs. The nearest I came to running anyone over in recent years was on the South Circular Road in London … an Afro-Caribbean man, dressed entirely in black with a black beanie hat wandering across the middle of the road at night.

It’s a rule I nearly always forget myself, but do wear something bright at night! Just because you can see cars, do not assume they can see you.