In decorating a room, my adventures with Monty Pythonesque salesmen (I know I should say ‘salespersons’, but all the ones this week were indeed men) continue. Yesterday was the carpet store, or rather warehouse.
Salesman: Can I help you?
Me: No, thanks, just looking.
Salesman: (oblivious to brush off) What are you looking for?
Me: A natural fibre carpet, probably wool.
Salesman: You want polypropelene.
Me: No, I’m looking for wool. Which section are they in?
Salesman: All our polypropelene is natural.
Me: Natural polypropelene?
Salesman: Yes. It’s all natural.
Me: It’s for a kids’ room. I don’t want the emissions from artificial fibres.
Salesman: Ah, polypropelene’s better then. Wool emits a lot of noxious stuff.
Me: I don’t like artificial fibres. There’s the static electricity too.
Salesmen: Wool’s worse for static.
Me: (sarcastically) Is it really? OK, but I wanted wool.
Salesman: You’d be better with polypropelene.
Me: Do you actually sell wool carpets?
Salesman: Well, we’ve got some. But polypropelene’s better.
Me: Where are the wool carpets?
Salesman: We actually haven’t got that many here at the moment, because everyone prefers polypropelene.
Exit me, stage left. Ah, well. Today will be the lighting shop.
Peter Viney's Blog 
It’s not just an English thing… Although ‘polypropelene as a natural product’ – be fair, Peter. It’s not SUPERnatural…
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It reminds me of buying a shirt a couple of years ago. I asked if it was 100% cotton (as I find polyester makes my skin itch). The salesman said it was “100% polyester.” I said I only bought natural materials, like cotton or linen. He assured me that polyester was a natural material. I said “You mean it grows. It’s a plant.”
“Definitely,” he said.
I suppose polyester used to be petrol, and millions of years ago that petrol used to be plants!
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When we were writing Handshake, we were looking at all sorts of videos on communication techniques. One that stood out was a comment “the smart salesperson gently assists the customers to sell it to themselves.” The video had used a salesperson pushing their opinion onto a customer to illustrate.
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I await your video version of this! Oh the horror, the horror…
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